Tuesday 4 - Hard Working Women

 

1. Have you ever found yourself in the same position as this lady? (Picture on the meme-site) How did you feel about it?
   
   Yes, it was always me doing all the work.
   Mr.J left early in the morning and came back at about 19.00 hours.
   During vacations he went away with the kids and I stayed at home with the youngest ones.
   I feel I have raised the children by myself.
   In the house I did the painting, repairing etc. I refused to do the electricity. But he never took proper care of things.
   So after he died one of the first things I did was to remove the walllamps from the livingroom and did away with the unsafe sockets and connections. He just drilled a hole in a floorsocket and put another electricity thread in it. It is forbidden by law to do so.
   Now the room is better lighted, and a hole lot safer!!
   I also never did the drilling. But after I told him to put a bit of tape on the drillpart so he could see how much depth he was, he ofcourse didn't do it and drilled right through the wall.
   
   The toiletflushes needed to be repaired. I can't do it... tried... So I have to find someone who can show me.
   
   Son2 learned a lot from the husband of a friend, but not from his own father.
   I learned a lot of things from my dad... taught it my kids.
   
   
2. Women do the cooking, the cleaning up and the organizing while the rest of the family reap the rewards of that.. is it fair?  
   
   NO!!!!!!!!!!!
   
   After Mr J. died my daughter wholives here too just relied on me.
   Then I broke my ankles.
   Now she does the cooking or the ordering...
   I have started to fosome smalljobs in the house....They need to be done!!!!
   She complaints a lot.. yea right...
   She doesn't pay her part of the rent... so dig in!!
   Shared use, shared responsibility.
   
   
3. Vacations at air b&bs or rental homes often mean Mom does all the work.  What kind of holiday or vacation would be most restful for you?
   
   When I was dealing with health issues I used to visit a friend a few times a year for a day or two. Mainly when the kids had schoolcamp or stayed over at friends.
   Just slept in, relaxed, cooked together...
   
   I can't think of a vacation that would have been restful Not with 4 kids with special needs and two others.
   
   
4. In Proverbs 31, the wife is married to a very prominent man in town.  She runs the house, has a cottage industry, owns vineyards on her own and buys and sells real estate.   
   What kind of woman are you? Do you hold a job.. do you do the housework.. do you find rewards in service to others or do you find it can be wearing on you or perhaps a little bit of both.
   
   I would have liked a career as a GP or in my job at university.
   Not to be bound by contracts, to enable to run my own agenda, yep, to be there for the kids, I didn't take a paid job, but voluntered.
   
   So I did everything at the house, did a bit of teaching during school hours, supported people whenever I could.
   I just kept on running and being busy, because when I would stop the whole burden of my life would fall on my head and crush me.
   Looking back: I needed to do things for others to feel useful, to have the feeling my life meant something.
   I had a husband who didn't care for me, children who depended on me. So a nice word or good progress from my students kept me going.
   I never took the easiest jobs. I took the ones that made me feel I needed to progress too and develop myself to be better.
   
   Being a veteran psychologist now fits right in that way of living.
   It's not easy and I hear things I can never tell someone else. That is a burden... but if I can help someone have a bit of a better life...
   
   What earthly rewards do you get out of  the life you are living?
   
   Not the large house with floor heating and a swimming pool, ski-vacations and lots of expensive clothes and jewelry, a car a whatever else I would have spend my money on.
   
   Instead I pay my expenses myself.
   
   A bouquet of flowers, twice and a piece of Maya soap,
   free coffee.
   Lots of smiles, hugs.
   and from the veterans trust, meals, drinks, sometimes a touristic trip, some special care, but above all: a family. Some of them have become my brothers.
   
   And it all made me feel "me".

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About **Syl

Syl: "Life is a chain of challenges. Sometimes the largest challenges are we ourselves. Facing life, facing others and facing yourself requires either a worryless attitude or plain courage. Most of the time it is dealing with judgement. Maybe life is about getting rid of it."