Yes...today the royals visitedd our town.
The Queen was at the hospital...but in another building. I was teaching quite near, but didn't see her.
Had a group of wannabe doctors... a nice group, with good questions.
I had been in doubt for quite a while: go or not go? My foot was hurting a lot, but a maximum amount of painkillers made it possible to go anyway.
When I was trying to get home, I saw someone who used to be a close friend with her husband.
They had just seen the king... wow!
He had been visiting a mobile shop nearby.
They were very enthousiastic, which was nice.
While they were telling about how normal he reacted, I thought that they looked so very old. It was quite shocking. He had a small face, she had uptight shoulders, and didn't walk right at all.
Strange how people can grow apart. Mainly due to the fact that they felt embarrassed because one of their kids had an identity crisis and a "suicide attempt" (with 2 paracetamol!!) during puberty.
The Queen was at the hospital...but in another building. I was teaching quite near, but didn't see her.
Had a group of wannabe doctors... a nice group, with good questions.
I had been in doubt for quite a while: go or not go? My foot was hurting a lot, but a maximum amount of painkillers made it possible to go anyway.
When I was trying to get home, I saw someone who used to be a close friend with her husband.
They had just seen the king... wow!
He had been visiting a mobile shop nearby.
They were very enthousiastic, which was nice.
While they were telling about how normal he reacted, I thought that they looked so very old. It was quite shocking. He had a small face, she had uptight shoulders, and didn't walk right at all.
Strange how people can grow apart. Mainly due to the fact that they felt embarrassed because one of their kids had an identity crisis and a "suicide attempt" (with 2 paracetamol!!) during puberty.
I finally did the taxes.
Ugh!!
I still don't understand some terms and regulations. Got upset because of that.
They are not explained on the site at all. Maybe they think all people above a certain age will pay someone else to do their taxes? Or do they think we all go to the library to ask some special people there for assistance? I have nothing to hide, but do they really think I will discuss my annual finances wiht someone who lives in next street?
So I filed a complaint about that. Did the same last year.
Now they had a questionnaire after I finished... great to put all my questions there too.
Well, most of the data were filled in already.
Why do they put you through all the annual overviews and things like that, send them, make you download them, when they aren't necessary at all? They know everything about you, so do the taxes then.
I couldn't ask for compensation for my diets. That's for the first time in years.
Ugh!!
I still don't understand some terms and regulations. Got upset because of that.
They are not explained on the site at all. Maybe they think all people above a certain age will pay someone else to do their taxes? Or do they think we all go to the library to ask some special people there for assistance? I have nothing to hide, but do they really think I will discuss my annual finances wiht someone who lives in next street?
So I filed a complaint about that. Did the same last year.
Now they had a questionnaire after I finished... great to put all my questions there too.
Well, most of the data were filled in already.
Why do they put you through all the annual overviews and things like that, send them, make you download them, when they aren't necessary at all? They know everything about you, so do the taxes then.
I couldn't ask for compensation for my diets. That's for the first time in years.
Was alone almost all day. Saw my daughter for just a few minutes. Didn't even have dinner together.
With all the discussion of assisted dying going on I wondered what they would do if I said that I am worrying about the time when I can't walk at all.
I now have a lot of pain, each day now without exception. I can hardly walk.. But still I am the person who does everything here. My daughter just does something when I keep complaining aloud... and she only does it to make me shut up. Trowing the fact on stage that she is on artificial feeding.
So in a way I am still the carer.
But what would they do? Offer a cleaner for a few hours a week (or maybe an hour) for payment I can't afford? Or give me a list of activities in the area, where I can't go?
We are supposed to stay at hour houses until we die, but this house is too large for me, unless walking stops hurting so much."
I can't even enter the house in a wheelchair here!!
They advertise to make people aware they should organise things for the times they are not mobile anymore.
How?
There are no suitable houses available. Neighbours don't care, and I don't want them to put me under the shower.
I see young people, self declared very knowledgeable, stating that people should not be able to ask for assisted dying, because their request is about something else, and that should be available.
But I don't see them do anything in their own lives to make at least one elderly or less mobile person feel respected and valued, and helped with what they need now.
I so much better understand my grandmother who said she had seen it all, experienced it all, and she was ready living. She struggled with the days being the same, with having no dreams to realise anymore. Having to ask for a simple item of grocery...
She lived too far away from me...
She had made her peace with herself, lost opportunities in life, loss of mobility and loss of a live outside of her small appartment.
She was OK. She was ready...
I am not yet... but I remember how I felt when they told me I might have died by the next morning. (When I was in hospital with an almost completely failing heart). Even though I was aware of the loss of me for the children and some friends, I was OK with dying.
I wonder how I would have reacted when someone else would have told me I wanted to die because concerns about something else. Might be money, or loneliness, or lack of a cleaner or someone pushing my wheelchair, or lack of speed of a civil servant to grant me some assistance in another way, or lack of palliative care.
I'd probably say that person was nuts. And add: I am a certified psychologist, so it's an official diagnosis. LOL!
In fact: when I was in hospital the palliative carer, who I knew from my own work with dying people in the very same hospital, could do....nothing at all.
Just listened...and learned.
Maybe that is what all those people who want to withold the personal choice of people should do: learn and listen.
I am ready to tell them about my gram and me....
With all the discussion of assisted dying going on I wondered what they would do if I said that I am worrying about the time when I can't walk at all.
I now have a lot of pain, each day now without exception. I can hardly walk.. But still I am the person who does everything here. My daughter just does something when I keep complaining aloud... and she only does it to make me shut up. Trowing the fact on stage that she is on artificial feeding.
So in a way I am still the carer.
But what would they do? Offer a cleaner for a few hours a week (or maybe an hour) for payment I can't afford? Or give me a list of activities in the area, where I can't go?
We are supposed to stay at hour houses until we die, but this house is too large for me, unless walking stops hurting so much."
I can't even enter the house in a wheelchair here!!
They advertise to make people aware they should organise things for the times they are not mobile anymore.
How?
There are no suitable houses available. Neighbours don't care, and I don't want them to put me under the shower.
I see young people, self declared very knowledgeable, stating that people should not be able to ask for assisted dying, because their request is about something else, and that should be available.
But I don't see them do anything in their own lives to make at least one elderly or less mobile person feel respected and valued, and helped with what they need now.
I so much better understand my grandmother who said she had seen it all, experienced it all, and she was ready living. She struggled with the days being the same, with having no dreams to realise anymore. Having to ask for a simple item of grocery...
She lived too far away from me...
She had made her peace with herself, lost opportunities in life, loss of mobility and loss of a live outside of her small appartment.
She was OK. She was ready...
I am not yet... but I remember how I felt when they told me I might have died by the next morning. (When I was in hospital with an almost completely failing heart). Even though I was aware of the loss of me for the children and some friends, I was OK with dying.
I wonder how I would have reacted when someone else would have told me I wanted to die because concerns about something else. Might be money, or loneliness, or lack of a cleaner or someone pushing my wheelchair, or lack of speed of a civil servant to grant me some assistance in another way, or lack of palliative care.
I'd probably say that person was nuts. And add: I am a certified psychologist, so it's an official diagnosis. LOL!
In fact: when I was in hospital the palliative carer, who I knew from my own work with dying people in the very same hospital, could do....nothing at all.
Just listened...and learned.
Maybe that is what all those people who want to withold the personal choice of people should do: learn and listen.
I am ready to tell them about my gram and me....
There is a lot to consider here, and I hear your anxieties and concerns, which are all valid concerns for sure. Aging and dealing with mobility issues are universal concerns we all face eventually. I've seen it and dealt with it already with my own parents and my mother in law. We took care of them (my parents) in their own home until they both died there, which is what they wanted, to die in their own home that my Daddy built. It took a lot of sacrifice on our part to make it happen, but we did the best we could and I am thankful that we were in a position to do so at the time. My mother in law lived with us and also with her other son & family for several years, back and forth, until she got to a place where we couldn't lift her anymore when she kept falling. Finally after a cracked hip, she went to a nursing home, and even though she had always fought that idea, once she got there she loved it. It was a good place, and thankfully her Medicare/Medicaid (government programs for the elderly and those who are low income) took care of it financially. She lived there until she died at age 95, but was well cared for and we visited her frequently. It is definitely something we all have to face one way or another, and I pray that you will be able to find a way to be properly cared for when the time comes that you are no longer able to do things for yourself. Life is precious, no matter what our age or situation, and I pray for a reasonable solution for you, as I also do for ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
DeleteWhat bothers me is that young people decide things we should decide for ourselves. On the other hand: we can't make the decisions without the proper facilities. Saying they should be available doesn't change anything. They say I have 6 kids, so I will be well cared for. But 2 are chronically ill, and 4 have serious autism. So yes, I have 6 kids... but there won't be a choice for any of the generations this way.
I am glad you could care for your family. Like I did for my gram. She always valued it a lot. But society is now more individualistic now, especially in the cities.
I would feel a lot better in a smaller place and in a quieter place. Maybe more in nature or in a farming area. Just everything simple in the house, so I can sweep the floor, take away the dust and do the other things that need to be done on a smaller scale.
Writing about this is not often done, that's why I do...
I hope things work out for all of us.
Hugs.