Not looking forward to the wedding tomorrow.
I am very tired, leg hurts and I am not happy with the outfits.
Which makes me happy I decided not to attend the school reunion on saturday.
As I had no role at all in planning, nor preparing the wedding, not even in chosing the outfit of my son, I feel not included.
I won't even be present when he leaves the house or sees the bride for the first time.
As they didn't even give the slightest hint what to wear, everybody has been buggung me with photos and questions about what to wear. Even yesterday...
Being busy with everything and everybody distracted me in a nice way. Now I have only today to make "something" of me, I know I was just busy to please others, instead of myself.
I used to feel elegant, but after the accident I was just focussed on moving forward.
Thought I would become "me" again... which I won't.
I feel like a dressed up elephant...
I am very tired, leg hurts and I am not happy with the outfits.
Which makes me happy I decided not to attend the school reunion on saturday.
As I had no role at all in planning, nor preparing the wedding, not even in chosing the outfit of my son, I feel not included.
I won't even be present when he leaves the house or sees the bride for the first time.
As they didn't even give the slightest hint what to wear, everybody has been buggung me with photos and questions about what to wear. Even yesterday...
Being busy with everything and everybody distracted me in a nice way. Now I have only today to make "something" of me, I know I was just busy to please others, instead of myself.
I used to feel elegant, but after the accident I was just focussed on moving forward.
Thought I would become "me" again... which I won't.
I feel like a dressed up elephant...
(((HUGS))) I am sorry you are not feeling really good about the wedding and all of the above. I know how easy it is to get the blues over things like this. We had to go to a wedding recently that we weren't too sure about some things and we weren't even sure we should be there. But then I thought about others who we know and care about who would be there, i.e., the grandfather of the bride, who is suffering from cancer and he wanted to see his granddaughter happily married before he dies, and he is very special to us, and so we decided to go to show our support for him. It turned out the wedding was much nicer that we ever thought it would be, and everything about it was very pleasant and a great surprise to us. We were so glad we decided to go. Sometimes, from what I have learned from this experience, focus on the happiness of those who are going to be there, and you will end up having a wonderful time yourself. I pray your leg will feel much better tomorrow and that everything will go smoothly, and you will look lovely and enjoy being there for your son's very special celebration. (((hugs))) again.
ReplyDeleteWhat I thought.
DeleteI can't not go...so make the best of it.
Very often I am the one making the spirits lift, so I guess that will happen again. As a kind of automatism. I will be busy all day anyway, as my autistic son will come too (He even bought a suit!!) and he feels so insecure, that he will stay all day with me or one of his sisters.
The present is nicely wrapped, clothes are ironed and ready, I only have to fetch the right colour of lipstick..LOL! Took the wrong one the other day.
I assume I will be OK when we leave the house... all venting done an steam gone. LOL! We'll leave with the oter daughter and her friend, so we'll have a good laugh on our way there.
We were allowed to drive near to the main entrance, because of my walking issues, and then they have to drive all the way back to the parking lot.
Thanks!!!
Hugggssss!!!