Tuesday 4 - Weathering the Storm...

 

1. What/who is your rock through the storms of life? What beliefs do you have to stand on?
   
   I always had to fight my own battles. When I was young my father was not at home much, but I knew he loved me and would defend me.
   My gram was the person who loved me to bits, cared for me, taught me a lot and she enjoyed talking with me about the challenges in life. She taught me a way of thinking.
   
   Later I was married and found out he was not able to lend me a shoulder. When Jenny died it became observable for other people too that he was not able to see my feelings, let alone understand them. But I had promissed "for better and for worse" and I thought "the better" would come anyway... it didn't.
   
   I remember a friend asking me: "who is your point of rest?". It was a main moment in my life.... because I had no answer. He knew that already.
   Years later I wanted to meet up with him, got in contact... but I guess I didn't want an even harder confrontation.
   I had 6 children, a husband who left the house at 7.00 and returned at 19.00 hours or even later, and I had to deal with everything. 4 kids with special needs, and schools who created more problems than they solved.
   
   The last years I have found a group of men who took me in their middle. They have become my family, my brothers. If ever possible (money,money, money) I will move to the village where two of the most closed friends and their families live. I will never look back.
   
   I respect people who have a religion.
   I am a buddhist, so I don't look outward for help and support, but I know I can start each day anew and I have a place to improve myself to improve things for others. This has been the main theme for my life.
   I never worked for money, because I thought that my talent to help people should be available to everyone, not only for those with large filled wallets and those who are insured.
   Now I don't have a luxurious retirement, far from that, but I know I have done whatever I could. 
   Like Ron, a collegue of my father, said: I don't care of there is a god. If there is one,  he will see you did everything you could."
   
   I think that each experience offers a way to learn things.
   And however rotten a situation is, that is what I try to find: a lesson.
   
   
2. Do you take precautions for bad storms? What precautions do you take?  
   
   You can't prepare for real bad life events.
   OK, you can lock the door to prevent a thief coming in and steal your stuff, put your phone deep inside the bag when traveling, watch out before crossing the street... but I couldn't prevent the fall from the stairs which left me like this, I couldn't prevent the death of my little girls.
   
   
3. The Sheep are caroling in the snow... do you sing during the tough times?     What things, what activities pull you through?
   
   Oh.. at times I do sing. At times I dream. At times I just keep my mind from running away with me into depressive thought.
   
   Mainly I take things as they are. live in the moment, and deal with things the best I can.
   Sometimes it helps to help others.
   
   
4. Whatever we do, we should be there for others in the difficult times. What advice can you give to those who are going through a difficult time now?
   
   I don't know the person you have in mind.
   I always try to see the person who needs me.
   All people deal with problems in a different way. Sometimes it works to talk about the past and see what worked for that person and what not. Others need to talk and talk and talk.
   I try to make them see that some feelings are not constructive: like anger and hatred. The world becomes a different place when people can leave their preconceptions, anger, traditional ways of thinking, the excluding of other people, and do away with the tendency to protect their own things and see others as intruders. We are all on one world, and be sure that no one is better than anyone else. We might not be murderers with knives, but so many people nawadays murder the image of other people as their fellow human beings!
   Trying to understand others and sharing feelings ad belobgings, food and a place to live, creates a world where pain can be shared.
   
   I know we are all children of history.
   My history is occupation during WW2, with a family who tried to save other people and protect the living. We have seen people trying to get away from the war, so we understand other people flee war too. Ukrain is nearby, and reaching out to help the Ukrainian people is the way we use our history to help others. The consequece is that we got to know many Ukrainian women and children, which made us feel we want to give them a home. So we did.
   Many countries hve problems with what they call: economical refugees. So people who want to move somewhere else to create a better live for themselves and their children. They are refused at the border and now in some countries they will be deported. People forget their own history when they cheer for a president who pushes everyone away. Don't forget that your countries consists completely out of immigrants. The Dutch, so my ancestors, founded New York. After WW2 they were asked to come to the USA as they neede people as agricultural workers, like farer's hands and farmers, to grown the crops to feed the nation. The Dutch who left here were nothing more than economical refugees. Deport them from your country and there will be an enormous food shortage.
   That's what I man about learning from your own history.
   
   Don't tell me you feel you want to be there for other people who go through a difficult time when you are blind for those who also need your help.
   
   I think that is a main issue in my life: be there for those who need my skills, regardless. I don't make a choice ith terms like: they are fit for my help. If you reject an outstretched hand, you are not a helper supporter or christian: you are a chooser.
   
   It had become clear to me that is a way of helping others too: opening the eyes of those who can help too... team up... an create better help and support and thus a better world.
   
   And we do need a better world. Not one of discrimination, deportation, creating division, and pushing away the outstretched hand one doesn't want to see, because of all sorts of fake reasons.
   Don't say you are a christian when you say I only want to help certain people...Jesus said: "all people."
   
   I know I keep on writing... but what is going on right now is exactly that: creating division in one simple country, only helping those who are from the same political party. Being convinced of your own wisdom. 
   Here we are trying to keep climate change limited. We do so much.
   Why do you think Los Angeles has been burning? It'snowing in Texas and in other parts where there haven't been snow since 1819 or so. Nature is telling something.
   But it costs effort and money too to create a good earth for our next generations. A businessman only looks with dollarsigns in his eyes: so hopla: away with climate treaties.
   Proper healthcare costs, as does a university education to do proper reliable research. A businessman only looks with dollarsigns in his eyes: so hopla: away with the Worldd Health Organisation. Like he knows anythig about healthcare! Drinking bleach to conquer a dangerous virus!! He made people kill themselves by doing that! But I bet that didn't reach the papers he injected financially and were made to speak his words.
   
   To truly support people I never promiss them nice things. I help them cope with the problems they encounter. Everything we get beyond the absolute bare necessities is luxury. When people realise that, they stop complaining. And more: they start sharing, stop defending, stop seeking battles, and stop creating division.
   Whe we want the next generations to survive and keep our names alive we need to work together, so we can see all who need support and offer support to all we can.
   
   That's my advice: see yourself as equal to others, so you can sk support and give support.
   
   

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About **Syl

Syl: "Life is a chain of challenges. Sometimes the largest challenges are we ourselves. Facing life, facing others and facing yourself requires either a worryless attitude or plain courage. Most of the time it is dealing with judgement. Maybe life is about getting rid of it."