My first "indepenent" birthday since era's!
Mr. J. didn't care for social events. It used to be no problem at all when he was still working. His job was at the middle of the country, so he needed to leave the house early and he came back late.
Of course the result was that I had to raise the children on my own. I hated to threaten with a daddy who would come home and then... So when he was away he was away.
The added benefit was that I was able to recieve friends and other guests during the days he was away, and neesless to say I had a sparkling life with some friends who had large families too. The swing in the garden was used well, the coffeepot even better!
When he stopped working social activities stopped.
For a couple of years I went to a nearby friend for coffee, but in the end it turned out that she needed me more for advice, watching her kids and watering the plants during the holidays.
Another mom was more open about er intentions. She had no family available, and it was nice to talk about issues with me. "Cheap psychologist", I sometimes thought. I didn't mind as long as she felt better.
But I couldn't privide the uplift she got when she re-acquainted with her sisters and parents. So the coffee mornings stopped completely when she started to spend time with them.
During my birthdays Mr. J took a day off, so we had no special events during those days. I considered myself lucky when there was a cake to share with the children.
He had his birthday earlier in the month, rejecting ideas for gifts, so gifts for me were considered inequality and set off the strange mood of a boy who had been left out. So the kids prepared a surprise on another day, gave me something when he was to the loo or conveniently skipped it altogether.
When he died I was looking forward to my first "independent" birthay, planning something nice with the kids who would be able to join in, have cupcakes or something nice to go with the coffee, and take a sip of whisky in the evening, looking around in the livingroom and see nice bright faces with smiles.
It made me think of my young years, visiting gram or her sister, eating mountains of cake or cookies, and joking for hours, with family members walking in and out. We had a very large family.
But instead this day will be almost as quiet as ever.
My ankle broken, no groceries fetched, and friends far away in the UK.
The girls gave me a special moment this weekend, as one of them won't be available today.
Got the series of books by Jennifer Worth, the author of Call the Midwife.
Which was an unexpected surprise.
Son 3 will pop in for a few minutes, early in the morning, before starting his shift.
So I planned a session with the physiotherapist. We will have a good laugh, and I can breathe in a bit of fresh air.
Before leaving to the practice I will put a box with cakemix very visible in the kitchen...Who knows......
The card of my camping friend, a very nice butterfly with lots of flowers, is put up in a visible place.
Let's see what happens!!
Mr. J. didn't care for social events. It used to be no problem at all when he was still working. His job was at the middle of the country, so he needed to leave the house early and he came back late.
Of course the result was that I had to raise the children on my own. I hated to threaten with a daddy who would come home and then... So when he was away he was away.
The added benefit was that I was able to recieve friends and other guests during the days he was away, and neesless to say I had a sparkling life with some friends who had large families too. The swing in the garden was used well, the coffeepot even better!
When he stopped working social activities stopped.
For a couple of years I went to a nearby friend for coffee, but in the end it turned out that she needed me more for advice, watching her kids and watering the plants during the holidays.
Another mom was more open about er intentions. She had no family available, and it was nice to talk about issues with me. "Cheap psychologist", I sometimes thought. I didn't mind as long as she felt better.
But I couldn't privide the uplift she got when she re-acquainted with her sisters and parents. So the coffee mornings stopped completely when she started to spend time with them.
During my birthdays Mr. J took a day off, so we had no special events during those days. I considered myself lucky when there was a cake to share with the children.
He had his birthday earlier in the month, rejecting ideas for gifts, so gifts for me were considered inequality and set off the strange mood of a boy who had been left out. So the kids prepared a surprise on another day, gave me something when he was to the loo or conveniently skipped it altogether.
When he died I was looking forward to my first "independent" birthay, planning something nice with the kids who would be able to join in, have cupcakes or something nice to go with the coffee, and take a sip of whisky in the evening, looking around in the livingroom and see nice bright faces with smiles.
It made me think of my young years, visiting gram or her sister, eating mountains of cake or cookies, and joking for hours, with family members walking in and out. We had a very large family.
But instead this day will be almost as quiet as ever.
My ankle broken, no groceries fetched, and friends far away in the UK.
The girls gave me a special moment this weekend, as one of them won't be available today.
Got the series of books by Jennifer Worth, the author of Call the Midwife.
Which was an unexpected surprise.
Son 3 will pop in for a few minutes, early in the morning, before starting his shift.
So I planned a session with the physiotherapist. We will have a good laugh, and I can breathe in a bit of fresh air.
Before leaving to the practice I will put a box with cakemix very visible in the kitchen...Who knows......
The card of my camping friend, a very nice butterfly with lots of flowers, is put up in a visible place.
Let's see what happens!!
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