Failure can be fatal

 

One of the fights in my life has been against "egos". People who think they are so much more than others.

This week one of these people has left an everlasting impression on our family and it might even get worse.

One of the twins is dealing with a horrible time in her life.
She thought she had found help at a team with a psychologist as the director.

I agreed to keep a distance.
I know it's not good to be the psychologist of your own children. Apart from that: I wanted to be the mother. And I live in another town.

We tried to support her as much as possible. I often felt a mediator when her twinsister once again went to her.

Things were not going well at all. She was suicidal.
She had signaled that to the psychologist and he told her she had to wait at last two weeks for some form of crisis intervention. The way he told her was by mail... so we could read his reply word by word to her when we asked for it. It sounded downright unkind and condescending.
The organisation he works for, and my daughter is a client of, has a special crisisteam.... he didn't bring her problems under their attention (thus displaying his incompetence.)

She had a talk on friday with a kind of neighbourhood social worker. The woman kept my daughter with her all morning, cancelled some of her appointments, and called my other daughter as she didn't want to leave her alone.
She made an appointment for early morning today and set crisisintervention in motion.
So my daughter was admitted this afternoon.... after she made another suicide attempt when she was alone to get her bag ready.

One day her attempt will succeed... 
Which makes me stress out completely!
I have lost two babies... One during pregnancy, one two days after her birth. Both girls.
The twins where rhesus babies. They had exchange transfusions and normal transfusions after birth. The fear for their lives was very intense. I love my children to bits. So seeing one struggle in such a bad way and a psychologist failing, not taking her seriously!!!

That he handled things by mail and app was a huge mistake, as my daughter showed the texts to the people who are dealing with her. All have said they will be part of a huge complaint. And they all try to help her in their own way.

But it's very hard.
She is so good in hiding her emotions. To act normal. To joke.
Het twinsister and I were there this evening.
We talked, evaluated what helped and what not, made plans for a group of friends coming there wednesday evening. But I felt we were not able to reach that part of her that puts her life at risk.

I hope the hugs gave her something she needed.

At home I tried to comfort her sister.. my other daughter.

We can't do anything...just wait for what others will do or won't do...

This feels not good at all.

I can't sleep...

. . .

About **Syl

Syl: "Life is a chain of challenges. Sometimes the largest challenges are we ourselves. Facing life, facing others and facing yourself requires either a worryless attitude or plain courage. Most of the time it is dealing with judgement. Maybe life is about getting rid of it."